


a wild thing

by bohemianqueen



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas, Don't copy to another site, F/F, F/M, Feelz, Light Angst, M/M, Nick is a former cop with a soft heart, Romance, Slow Burn, Sonny is kind of a lumberjack, basically a classic holiday movie with a touch of angst, rustic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-01-29 01:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21401779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bohemianqueen/pseuds/bohemianqueen
Summary: After being shot on the job, Nick moves from NYC to a quiet town in northern California to work as a park ranger. Sonny is a taciturn Christmas tree farm owner who has a mysterious history that no one has been able to figure out. When Nick chases wily teenagers away from Sonny’s trees it sets into motion a relationship that neither of them expected--or was looking for.
Relationships: Casey Novak/Carmen Noble (SVU), Mike Sandoval/OFC, Nick Amaro/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> unbetaed, but written with love

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183818140@N03/49051969987/in/dateposted-public/)

Sonny woke with a jolt.

The apartment was quiet aside from the usual hum of appliances and shifting of the wind against the side of the house. When he blinked his eyes open everything was still bathed in the watery blue light of early morning. As he sagged back into the mattress he brought the heels of his hands up to his face to press against his eyes. His heart was still thundering, but he ignored that and the dampness of his t-shirt against the small of his back.

He never remembered the dreams. Nightmares may be a more appropriate term, but it seemed like a dramatic moniker for something he didn’t even remember properly. It was hard to tell what triggered them, but he was always left with a lingering bitter taste of failure in his mouth. Sleep would not come again so after a few more moments of breathing and trying to slow his heartbeat he rolled out of the bed. His feet hit the cool floor before fumbling for his slippers and he stood to his feet with a low groan. He needed coffee. _Coffee with Seoul_ had the best coffee he’d ever had in his life, let alone in town, but he wasn’t up to seeing anyone. The feelings that lingered after his dreams always made him grumpy and he wouldn’t inflict that on Stacy. She may stop sliding him free treats with his orders and that was, frankly, one of the best parts of Sonny’s week. He resigned himself to making something in the French press. It would taste like tar, but it would get the job done.

* * *

“Second of all, you’re supposed to be in school right now,” Nick continued lecturing the three boys in front of him. They were all looking at their feet or off to the side as he hitched up his belt around his waist.

“We didn’t know it wasn’t open yet,” one of them tried. Nick was pretty sure it was the youngest Baker child.

“The sign says, clear as day, ‘no admittance’,” he replied with an arched eyebrow and dry tone. “If you can’t read that by freshman year of high school, then maybe I should make a special trip to visit your parents when I get off shift.”

They all protested loudly at that, tripping over each other and assuring him that wouldn’t be necessary. He suppressed the desire to roll his eyes.

“Everyone knows that when the farm is open, it’s only during the weekends. Not one o’clock on a Wednesday. In October,” he continued talking over them. “Either way, you’re all going down to the station with me and I’m going to let Sandoval take care of you. In the back.” He pointed to the SUV and ushered them inside.

It took nearly an hour to wrap things up, even after he’d left them in Mike’s hands. Mike was good with kids and Carmen would be around if he needed back-up for any reason. In their line of work, they dealt infrequently with people in the actual station as it was mostly issuing warnings to campers about fires and keeping an eye on the local wildlife. Although, high schoolers were a lot like local wildlife Nick thought to himself with a chuckle.

The car bounced over the dirt road as Nick continued on to Sonny’s cabin. It would be his first time actually going and it was a little ways away from the tree farm, but Nick thought he may appreciate the heads up. Nothing had happened, the boys hadn’t even gotten past the gate when Nick had hazarded upon them, but he was sure Sonny would still like to know since it was his property. Maybe he could put up another fence or more signs or something. Better yet, maybe he’d get some free labor out of the whole thing. That was one of the things Nick really liked when he moved here, everyone knew someone who knew someone else. There weren’t too many degrees of separation, although it wasn’t quite small enough for everyone to really know everyone else personally. Nick wouldn’t be surprised at all if, upon the parents finding out what their teenagers had been up to, they’d be voluntold to help Sonny run the holiday events in the coming months.

* * *

“You didn’t need to invite me in,” Nick protested.

It was the more recent in a long string of protests which grew weaker by the moment as Sonny had somehow manhandled him inside and convinced him to join him for a cup of coffee. He rubbed his hands together briskly and peered around. The cabin looked cool from the outside, rustic and like a grown-up version of the Lincoln logs Nick had played with as a child, but the inside was surprising. It was still rustic and very much a bachelor pad, but there were touches of modernity in places Nick hadn’t expected. The marble-covered counter looked out of place and the matching white coffee mugs and milk cup Sonny had pulled out of cabinet adjacent to the stove looked like something that would be found on a wedding registry.

“Do you want the coffee or not?” Sonny bit out roughly as he carefully pushed a carton of half and half towards Nick.

“I wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience.” Nick shifted uncomfortably.

“I’ve already made the coffee and you’re already here. You may as well drink it so it warms you up a bit. Cold out there, even with the sun shining.” Sonny poured coffee into one cup and then the other. To his own cup, he only added the barest amount of sugar. He pushed the dish closer to Nick next. “And it’s the least I can do. Last thing I need this early in the season are some teenagers messing around with my trees.”

“They’re very nice trees,” Nick offered with half a smile as he inched closer and reached for the coffee. “And this is a really nice house, Sonny.”

Sonny grunted in response and leaned back against the counter. Nick concentrated on not looking at where the flannel was riding up and exposing a sliver of his hip. When he finished adding a splash of half and half to his cup he brought it up to his mouth. The warmth of the cup was pleasant against his wind-chapped hands, he made a mental note to finally dig his gloves out and stash them in the glove compartment, and the fragrant aroma brought a small smile to his face.

He took a sip and instinctively made a face before he could catch himself. The coffee was acidic and bitter, the fragrant aroma belying the fact that it tasted worse than what he’d get in the squad room back in New York. Nick swallowed hard and offered half a smile to Sonny when he looked up. Sonny smirked and Nick narrowed his eyes at him before leaning back over the counter and adding a generous amount of sugar and more half and half to his cup. He tried to keep his sugar intake low, but there was no way he’d finish this cup without some help.

“Never claimed it was good coffee,” Sonny offered mildly as he brought his own cup to his face. He took a long sip as if to dare Nick.

“I’ve had worse,” Nick replied in the same mild tone.

This time he took a long sip of his own. It was marginally better, certainly enough for him to be able to swallow if he did it quickly enough. He did have to get back to work, so at least he had that excuse for why he was rushing back out the door. No doubt Sonny had plenty of his own work to do. In about six weeks he’d open the farm for people to cut their own trees on the weekends and have already cut trees in the parking lot of the Catholic church on Cedar and Maple Leaf during the week. It was a lot of work for one person to do and even though last year had been Nick’s first full winter in town, it was still apparent how much everyone depended on Sonny and his trees to usher in the holiday cheer.

“Ex-cop.” It was a statement more than a question.

Nick shifted his weight and smiled a little as he dropped his gaze to his feet. A twinge from his knee was a humbling reminder of just how much Sonny was right.

“What gave it away?”

Sonny took a sip of his coffee and then sat the cup on the edge of the counter. “The way you carry yourself. Your posture, plus the fact that Ms. McKinney is a vicious gossip over tea and cookies after mass.” Sonny smirked again and Nick laughed.

“Of course. It’s always the nice ones that get you. Think she cornered me in the grocery store when I first got here. Who’s telling how much info she got from me in three minutes between me reaching for cereal and trying to extract myself. I’ve seen career detectives less skilled than her.”

Sonny laughed and his smirk morphed into a genuine smile now. The corners of his eyes crinkled up and there was a flash of crooked white teeth that Nick found endearing for some reason. His mouth closed again, but the faint, genuine, smile remained on his face.

“Her specialty is when she pounces and you didn’t see her coming. But she’s a great help with the activities on the farm during the weekend, so I can’t say anything bad about her.”

Nick grinned and nodded, finished the last of his coffee cup, and lifted the cup in the air towards the sink. Sonny shook his head and took it from him and gently set it down.

“I’ll get to it later. I’m sure you’ve got to get back out there.”

Nick took a few steps towards the door as he readjusted his hat under his arm. It was early afternoon, but the sun still managed to look like it was threatening to set earlier than normal. That was one thing Nick always hated about the cold weather months, how even the midday sun seemed reluctant and dimmer than normal. His knee was stiff when he put his weight on it and he sighed mentally. Speaking of reluctance. He’d swing by the pharmacy after he got off to pick up more of the tablets that kept his joints from aching like a bad tooth.

“Thank you for the coffee, Sonny,” Nick said as he turned back to look at him. “And the warmth.”

“One of those thanks isn’t really warranted, and we both know that.” Sonny’s smirk was back. “But I’m glad you got to warm up for a bit.”

Nick’s hand hovered over the doorknob. “See you around?”

Sonny nodded and inclined his head. “Either that or I’ll get filled in by Ms.McKinney.”

They shared one last laugh and then Nick was opening the door and stepping back into the cold.


	2. chapter two

“Heard you tried to kill Mike’s boss.”

Stacy arched an eyebrow at Sonny before he could open his mouth to place his coffee order. She seemed to take no heed of the line formed behind him as she crossed her arms across her chest. Long black hair was pulled back in two low buns on either side of her head and the blue and red printed logo of the cafe peeked from behind her arms.

“I--”

“You made him coffee? Really, Sonny?”

“I was trying to be hospitable!” Sonny defended with a shove of his hands deep in his pockets. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and waved it around. “Now, can I order and pay or do you want to grill me some more? You won’t tell me how to make coffee like you do here--”

“Job security,” she interjected.

“So what else was I supposed to do?”

Behind him, he heard someone grumble under their breath and Sonny hunched over and shoved his hand deeper into his pocket. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he enjoyed being around people. Now, he was doing good to get groceries from the grocery store every other week. If it wasn’t for Casey’s greenhouse and nursery and Stacy’s coffee, admittedly light years better than the tar he made, he may hardly ever wander beyond his property.

“Offer him _tea_,” Stacy stressed. With a wave of her hand, she gestured behind her to the counter where drinks were placed when they were ready. “Your coffee is already waiting for you. I did include something extra this time, but if you keep offering Nick your coffee I may have to rethink our little arrangement,” she warned. “Mike said Nick is way better than his former boss and a happy boyfriend is what I like to go home to after being on my feet all day. That can’t happen if you take him out.”

Sonny pulled his hand out of his pocket to raise in the air in surrender before crossing one over his chest, palm to flannel covered heart.

“I swear,” he drawled. “I do think ‘take him out’ is a little dramatic, though. My coffee isn’t _that_ bad.”

The sign above her head beamed brightly as it proclaimed ‘warm your heart and feed your soul’ in cursive font and Sonny focused on that rather than looking her directly in the eye. She narrowed her eyes at him in warning but must have decided not to press the point anymore. Sonny wanted to say something smart like, ‘is this the ‘soul’ part of Coffee with Seoul?’, but he thought better of it. Heaven forbid she actually follows through with her threat. After a beat, she shooed him out of the way again, but not before stabbing the air and sending him off with one last warning.

“You should have made him cocoa!”

Sonny grimaced and slid out of the way. The person behind him rushed up to the counter to place their order before he had a chance to insert one last remark in defense of himself. Not that he’d tell her the complete truth anyway. Stacy was probably one of his favorite people and even she only knew the barest amounts of his personal life. One time she’d convinced him to sit down and enjoy his coffee at one of the tables towards the back and after plying him with free refills, a cookie, and a sandwich she’d managed to coax a decent conversation out of him.

In the present, he picked up his coffee, labeled with his name with a bubbly heart for the ‘o’, and shook his head fondly. She probably thought of him as a project, but she was so genuine that Sonny didn’t mind. Much. Especially if it meant--he pulled back a corner of the papery sleeve she’d left next to his cup and there was a cookie waiting for him, still warm from the oven--yep, especially if it meant she kept the cookies coming.

A familiar cruiser was pulling into a spot not far from his truck when Sonny pushed outside and back into the cold air. His stomach swooped as if he’d nearly missed a step in a series of stairs and he clutched his coffee cup tighter. The car door opened and Nick stepped out in one lithe move as he fixed his hat on the top of his head. _Only Nick could make that hat look good,_ Sonny thought absently before catching himself and frowning. Where had that come from?

“Hey.” Nick lifted his hand in greeting and called to Sonny with an easy smile.

Sonny lifted a corner of his mouth and lifted his own cup in hello.

“Um, thanks again for the other day…” he trailed off and mentally kicked himself. This was getting ridiculous now. He was a grown man. He knew how to hold a conversation.

“Just doing my job,” Nick responded easily as he got closer.

Sonny pressed his lips together in a semblance of a smile and nodded.

“What’d you get?” Nick gestured to his cup.

“Uhh. I usually get whatever Stacy’s special is,” Sonny admitted somewhat sheepishly. “I used to try to get something regular like just a plain coffee, but she refuses to make that for me so I just give in. Today is something with hazelnut, I think.” H squinted and took another sip to try to place the flavors, but ended up shrugging helplessly.

“I’m sure it’s great. I may have to get one.” Nick drew up next to Sonny now and he placed his hands on his belt as he planted his feet. He still had a kind smile on his face and Sonny dropped his eyes to his feet and scuffed his boots along the gravel. “I’ll tell her it came highly recommended from you.”

“Please do. She thinks I almost killed you with my coffee the other day.” Sonny rolled his eyes and Nick laughed. His teeth gleamed a bright white when he threw his head back.

“Takes more than that to take me out,” Nick said with a hint of a smirk. He touched his fingers to the brim of his hat and started walking again. “Bye, Sonny. See you around.”

“Yeah,” Sonny echoed as he watched Nick amble away. “See you around.”

* * *

With the plant in the crook of his left arm and his coffee cup held in his right, Nick pushed into the ranger station. He dropped the plant on Carmen’s desk with half a smirk and nodded at his colleagues.

“Mike, Stacy said to remind you to take the beef out of the freezer to thaw out, if you haven’t already.”

The way Miguel grimaced and sat up straighter at his desk told Nick that he had, in fact, forgotten to take the beef out of the freezer. He’d probably run to go do it during his lunch break and Nick had a suspicion that Stacy knew all of that to begin with when she’d given him the stern instructions. She’d also had a knowing look in his eye when he’d ambled in and ordered the daily special, but she hadn’t said added anything else.

“You forgot, huh?” Carmen drawled with an amused look on her face. Her hand drifted over to the plant and she seemed oblivious to the fact that she was stroking one of the leaves gently.

“Maybe,” Miguel hedged. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“What were you doing at Stacy’s anyway?” Carmen asked, distracted as she spotted the cup in Nick’s hand as he went over to his desk. She turned to follow him with her gaze. “I think I can count all of the times on one hand that you’ve stopped there on the way to work.”

Nick shrugged and busied himself tidying up his desk. It was already tidy, but there were a few files on his desk that weren’t perfectly straight. He focused on pushing the pages of paper into them and stacking them more neatly to avoid meeting her eye.

“Just felt like mixing things up,” he replied brightly. She harrumphed and he could tell she was going to press the point. “I see Casey hasn’t written you off as a lost cause yet.” At this, he raised his eyes to her face. She ducked her head bashfully and he exchanged a look with Miguel.

“I don’t know why she bothers,” Carmen mumbled. “I’ve killed, or nearly killed, every plant she’s given to me. I’m a lost cause.”

“Clearly, she disagrees,” Nick contradicted mildly. He picked up his coffee cup and leaned back in his chair.

“She’s coming over tonight to check up on the plant she gave me last week. Half the leaves have fallen off and a quarter of them are yellow.” Carmen winced. “I don’t know what she’s expecting.”

“You not to cook, I hope,” Miguel teased.

Carmen shot him a withering look. “I’m picking up steak dinners from the new place on Cedar, Sandoval.”

“Fancy,” Miguel shot back. “Sounds like a d--”

“What are you and Stacy fixing?” Carmen steamrolled over him.

“Korean beef tacos.” Miguel looked smug. “She said it only made sense since fusion is the thing right now and she’s _actually_ Korean and I’m _actually_ Mexican.” Miguel shrugged. “I’d eat cereal with her and be happy, so it doesn’t matter much to me. She’s excited, though.”

“What time will food be on the table?” Nick joked.

Miguel looked uncomfortable and Nick hastened to reassure him.

“I’m kidding. I have plans of my own.”

Carmen’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really?”

Nick nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “Uh-huh,” he confirmed. “Top secret, though.”

* * *

The top-secret plans turned out to be picking up frozen dinners at the grocery store, which then morphed into grocery shopping since he was already there. Nick swung his basket gently as he turned onto the aisle with the coffee. Mike and Carmen had ribbed him all morning, so he definitely needed to go back to brewing his own coffee at home. It was only when he was almost right on top of that section in the aisle that he realized he recognized the figure standing there.

“Come here often?” Nick said in jest as he drew up next to Sonny.

Sonny startled and whirled around, relaxing when he made eye contact, before his eyes darted away. They seemed to briefly land on the basket in Nick’s hand and Nick forced himself to not feel self-conscious. There was nothing wrong with frozen dinners. He cooked often, but he was tired today and he deserved a break.

“Hey,” Sonny greeted. He lifted the bag of coffee in his hand before dropping it into his own handbasket. “Was running low so I figured today was a good a day as any. Every time I’m here I try to find something new that may turn out half as good as Stacy’s, but so far…” his voice trailed off.

“Love,” Nick offered absently as he reached for a bag to Sonny’s right. When he caught Sonny’s confused face he blushed and then pretended to study the bag of coffee in his hand. Name brand, donut shop, caramel-flavored. It would probably be good enough, so he tossed it into his basket and looked over at Sonny with a wry smile.

“My mom always used to say that love was the secret ingredient when someone made something she could never replicate,” Nick clarified sheepishly. “Not that she wasn’t making hers with love, but everyone’s love is different so…” He brought up a hand to rub at the back of his neck, seriously regretting saying anything. “Random, I know. Sounds silly now that I said it out loud. Must be rambling because my blood sugar is too low or something.”

Sonny shook his head with a contemplative look on his face. “It doesn’t sound silly. My mom used to say something similar. We’re Italian so food was one of the tenets of our family.” He offered Nick a hesitant smile and Nick responded with one of his own.

“Cuban.” He pointed to himself. “I totally get it.” He swung his basket again and took a half step back. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it.”

“Enjoy your chicken pot pie,” Sonny said as he shot Nick half a wave.

Nick laughed and pressed his lips together with a small shake of his head. “Will do. Have a good night, Sonny.”

“You too.”

* * *

It was another several days before Sonny ran into Nick again. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t caught himself thinking about him as his mind wandered and his hands got to working on familiar tasks around the farm. It was funny to think that Nick had lived here for almost a year, and it was only now that he seemed to pop up almost everywhere Sonny was. It was coincidence, surely, but Sonny was surprised to find that it was a happy coincidence. Nick wasn’t pushy or nosey like some people could be. He wasn’t off-put by Sonny’s occasional grumpiness or awkwardness. It almost felt like maybe they could have been friends in a different life.

“Have you tried flowers?” Sonny posed to Casey with an amused smile tugging at his cheeks. Half the reason he even visited her once a week was to hear the latest in her ongoing attempt to woo Carmen. From the sounds of things, it was going pretty well, but neither woman was being brave enough to say how they felt.

“Aren’t flowers too obvious?” Casey asked anxiously. Her golden-red hair was in a side braid that spilled over her shoulder and her face was knit together as she worried her bottom lip.

Sonny gave her a long look, swallowed back the comments he wanted to say, and shook his head slowly.

“I don’t think so, no. It sounds like you both are interested. You said she bought you both steak dinners when you went over this week? And she had your favorite wine?” He tried to lay the facts out patiently.

She made a face and buried her hands in the pot of soil sitting on the workbench in front of her.

“Yeah, but…”

“And that she felt really bad when she’d gotten you both vegetarian food before? Because she thought working with plants meant you didn’t like meat? So she listened and acted accordingly. I heard the new place is nice, too, I haven’t been there yet.”

“The food was incredible,” Casey raved immediately. Her face brightened when she locked eyes with him again. “The wine was perfect. Conversation was perfect. Plants were half dead.” She tilted her head at that and screwed up her face in a way that said she was not entirely surprised. “It was a really nice evening.” She nodded and a faint smile graced her lips.

“Buy her flowers, Casey. Stop making excuses to go over to her place and ask her out! Even just to coffee!”

“I don’t want her to feel pressured!” Casey cried.

“At this point, the two of you aren’t going to get together for another five Christmases. Bite the bullet,” he instructed firmly.

She pulled her hands away from the soil and wiped them off on a cloth. Hazel eyes drifted to something over his shoulder before fixing back on his face.

“Make you a deal,” she started and he could tell he’d hate whatever she was going to say next. “You make a new friend and I’ll ask out Carmen. Should be easy enough, right?” Her eyebrow arched elegantly, but before he could say anything a familiar voice was calling out behind him.

“I decided you were right.”

Sonny turned and when Nick glanced over at him he turned his smile his way before aiming it back at Casey.

“I need a plant for my place.”

Casey cheered and Nick laughed as he came closer. When he was nearly hip to hip with Sonny Casey came around her bench and caught him in a casual hug. Her and Sonny had never hugged in the years he had lived here. Nick really did have something magnetic about him. No doubt, he was this charismatic with everyone. A pang made itself known, but Sonny ignored it as he began to back away.

“At least someone listens to me.” She shot Sonny a pointed look over Nick’s shoulder.

“You first,” Sonny tossed back before he nodded to Nick and strode out of the nursery.

“Now, what can I get you?” he heard Casey ask Nick behind him.

“Whatever it was you gave Carmen recently,” Nick answered in a teasing tone. “She’s certainly had a smile on her face for days now and I could use that kind of energy in my place.”

Sonny chuckled to himself as he exited and headed to his truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! next one will dig into some more meat, but hopefully, you're enjoying the build-up for now. come say hello--@carisi-dreams on tumblr


	3. chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, do not take the information in here about campfires as fact! fiction means you get to wave your hands and pretend it all makes sense.

The first time they had dinner together it was purely by accident. It was over a week later when Sonny entered the diner and saw Nick sitting further back in a booth by himself. He was facing the door and in the moment between Sonny entering and Benjamin nodding at him and Sonny’s eyes sliding back to Nick, Nick was waving him over. It would be too impolite to ignore him, so with a bitten back sigh Sonny tucked his crossword puzzle under his arm and slowly made his way over to the booth.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Nick greeted with that same genuine smile he always seemed to have.

He waved at Sonny to take a seat, so he dropped onto the bench across from Nick gratefully with half a smile. The crossword puzzle spilled out next to him and he refolded the paper and tucked it under his thigh in an attempt to give himself some time. He had not been expecting to have company tonight.

“You sure you don’t mind me crashing your dinner?” Sonny asked. He hoped the hopefulness in his voice wasn’t too obvious. It was one last effort to slip away and back into his usual Wednesday night routine.

Nick shook this head, though. “Not at all. It will be nice to have the company. Although, we are a bit of a cliche here...frozen dinners and now diner food.”

“Well, in my defense, this is my routine every Wednesday. Something to look forward to in the middle of the week when the last thing I want to do after working all day is fix food for myself.”

“I know the feeling,” Nick agreed with an encouraging smile. “I used to cook for myself so much when I lived in New York, that’s what I would do on the weekends to unwind. But with the city, there’s also always something going on and so many opportunities to meet people. Half the reason I visit the diner is to have someone to talk to about something other than work.” He offered Sonny another one of his boyish half-smiles before dropping his eyes to where his fingers were drumming against the table. A shrug. “Looks like it’s working well.”

“I bet Benjamin loves to talk your ear off, too,” Sonny added with a small smile of his own. “That man--”

“Is right behind you,” Benjamin interjected in a jovial tone. Sonny closed his mouth and Nick smothered laughter into his shoulder. “Look at this, the perpetual bachelor corner is growing. Like a fungus.”

“Now, what exactly does that make you?” Sonny posed as he half-turned to look up at him. Benjamin was holding a small pad and a beat-up pen in one hand, a bandana wrapped around his forehead in a messy attempt to hold back his brown hair as usual.

“I’m not single,” Benjamin contradicted. He had an amused look on his face and a sparkle in his eye that told Sonny he’d regret going down this path. “Married to this beautiful girl the two of you are currently enjoying. Diner and me, it’s more than a building or a job, it’s a fulltime relationship.”

“Alright, Luke Danes, let’s move on before things start getting weird,” Nick joked. Sonny lifted his eyebrow at the reference but refrained from saying anything to give himself away. “Some of us aren’t married to our job, but we’re still hungry from it.”

“Lemme guess,” Benjamin started without missing a beat. “Two specials, iced tea for Nick--unsweetened--and lemonade for Sonny?”

The two men exchanged a look and then looked back up at Benjamin.

“You’re getting too predictable,” Benjamin chastened. “Will get the drinks up and food shouldn’t take too long. Neither of you ever gets dessert, but if you feel like mixing things up today…” he trailed off and gave them another long look before he took off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Why do we put up with him, again?” Nick asked Sonny with a shake of his head and lift of a corner of his mouth.

“Because it means we don’t have to wash dishes tonight,” Sonny answered dryly.

Nick pointed at him and nodded. “Right.”

The conversation flowed surprisingly easy once they got over the initial awkward silence after Benjamin took their orders. Sonny found that Nick didn’t mind the moments where the conversation would lull. Instead of trying to fill them with mindless chatter, Nick would go back to eating or look around the diner. The heavy weight of disappointing someone, of being too awkward or quiet, of feeling out of practice with someone new and knowing the other person pitied him for his apparent inability to have a conversation never came. At one point, Nick somehow got him to start talking about the farm and it was the longest Sonny had spoken in one sitting in awhile. His enthusiasm was met by Nick’s careful listening, to his surprise. He was asked thoughtful questions every so often, and there was no sighing or eye-rolling or trying to get him to move on to something more interesting. It was the most comfortable Sonny had felt around another person in a long time, aside from Casey and Stacy.

“You going to come get a tree this year?” Sonny asked as he finished the last bite of his Shepherd’s pie.

“Think I’ll have to, after knowing how much goes into it,” Nick replied. He pushed his own plate away from him with a satisfied look. “Think you can put in a good word with me to the owner so I get a good one?” His eyes crinkled when he smiled.

“They’re all good ones,” Sonny retorted. Nick’s smile didn’t slip and it showed just how much he was getting used to Sonny and his sense of humor. Far too many people found him just as thorny and imposing as a Douglas fir. “But I think I could put in a good word,” he added in a put upon begrudging tone.

“I’ll spring for dessert as thanks,” Nick said. At Sonny’s surprised look he shrugged. “You think I’m going to let a guy who says he’s married to his diner show me up? We’re getting dessert today.”

Sonny could only agree helplessly as Nick ordered a slice of chocolate cake with vanilla bean ice cream for himself after waving Benjamin back over.

“Sonny?” Nick asked in expectation.

“Apple pie,” Sonny replied, it was the first thing that came to mind and perfect for a chilly evening.

“Ice cream?” Benjamin had his pen poised over the pad of paper in his hand.

Once, Sonny had gotten a glance at the pad and it had only illustrations on it. No words. No orders. Not even illustrations of food, but random doodles. Sonny was convinced he carried it to complete the ‘diner owner’ look.

“I’ll try the cinnamon.” Sonny arched an eyebrow at Benjamin’s mischevious smile, daring him to say anything else. The other man did nothing other than write on the pad (or pretend to) and turn on his heel.

“You think we broke him?” Nick leaned his elbows on the table and leaned in close to Sonny to whisper conspiratorially.

“I think I’ll never hear the end of this next Wednesday,” Sonny answered honestly without thinking.

“If he’s the one still going on about you having pie a week later, I think he needs to revisit the whole ‘diner as his girlfriend’ thing,” Nick defended. Sonny felt himself flush and he looked away. It was nice to have someone defensive on his behalf. “Now pull out that crossword.” Sonny looked up in surprise and Nick wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m not trying to disrupt your _entire_ routine.”

That went along with a few more details Sonny had begun collecting about Nick involuntarily. The way he carried himself, the way he smiled easily, the way he invited Sonny along to be in the joke rather than make him feel like the butt of it. The way he sat in the corner facing the door, but still managed to look inviting. He was observant but didn’t push. Maybe more observant than Sonny realized.

Lifting his thigh slightly, Sonny picked up the crossword and sat it on the table between them. He smoothed the paper where it was creased down the center and patted the chest of his jacket to find his pen. Nick’s eyes flickered to the name of the paper in the corner but he didn’t say anything about it.

“What’s a nine-letter word for ‘showing exceptional effort and perseverance’?” Sonny had gotten stumped on this one this morning.

“Assiduous,” Nick said immediately. Sonny just blinked at him and he laughed a little self-consciously. “I’ve been trying to help my kids with their homework over video calls during the week. Picked up one of those test vocabulary books to brush up. Maybe by the time they’re actually ready to take that test, I’ll feel like I can help. Schoolwork is harder than I remember.” He rubbed his forehead and a shadow of regret passed over his face. After a second the moment was gone and he shook himself before tapping his finger on the newspaper. “Assiduous.”

* * *

“This was fun,” Sonny found himself saying after they’d both paid and were on their way out the door. “Thanks for inviting me to join you.”

Nick waved his thanks away. “Pleasure was mine. I told you, I eat at the diner to socialize. You made it easy for me this week; I didn’t have to meet anyone new. But I technically still followed my rule so…” He glanced over at Sonny with a grin. “Feels a bit like staying up past your bedtime as a kid over winter break. Technically, you don’t have to go bed, but you still feel like you’re getting one over on your parents.”

“Well, I’m glad I gave you the same feeling as a kid staying up late over winter break,” Sonny chuckled.

When they exited back to the parking lot Sonny shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. It was a cold, crisp night, but thankfully the wind had died down. There was a sliver of a moon in the sky when he tipped his head back to peer up. A night like this was perfect for a fireplace. Just the smell of the burning wood seemed to warm him up just as much as the actual fire.

“Well, that’s twice now I owe you for being hospitable,” Sonny said as they drew up close to his truck. Nick’s car must have been close by, but Sonny realized he didn’t know what kind of car Nick drove when he was off duty. “There’s this thing...called a Swedish fire log. Basically, you burn a fire within a log. It looks pretty cool.” Sonny shrugged. “Weather like this always makes me think of it.”

Nick smiled encouragingly.

“If you want,” Sonny continued haltingly. “You could come over and I’ll show you? Cook dinner? I swear my food is better than my coffee.”

Nick laughed at that. He nodded in contemplation before finally shrugging his shoulders.

“Sounds great. What day and what time?”

* * *

When Sonny looked around his kitchen, thirty or so minutes before he was expecting Nick to arrive, it was like the spirit of his nonna had teleported into his body. She was very much alive and well and would be proud of what good of a host he was being, but he felt shell shocked even amidst the faint tugging of familial pride. This was the most cooking he had down since he’d left home. Sure, he cooked for himself when he wasn’t subsisting on diner food, frozen dinners, and takeout. However, it was one thing to whip up a chicken pot pie or a well-balanced meal for himself and a whole other thing to make a multi-course Italian dinner.

Pulling a chair from under the dining room table, Sonny sat down heavily with a dazed expression on his face. He had prepared a feast. Osso buco alla Milanese with fresh veal from the butcher he knew in town, ribollita quietly bubbling away on the stove, and a platter arranged with roasted red peppers, the most authentic fresh mozzarella he could find, and thinly sliced prosciutto. The focaccia dough was sitting outside on the Swedish log already baking and if he had timed things correctly, it should be ready a few minutes after Nick arrived. Sonny let himself feel proud. Here he was making a friend and he managed to pull together an impressive meal that surprisingly had felt relaxing to make, despite the many elements to it. He hoped Nick had brought a healthy appetite with him. And some alcohol, as that was the one thing he’d forgotten in his four trips to the store since extending the invitation to Nick.

The sound of a car pulling up to the house knocked him out of his daze and he pushed back up to his feet. He tucked the chair under the table, rubbed his suddenly damp palms on the thighs of his jeans, and crossed the room to stir the soup. With one last taste to ensure it the flavors were balanced well, he switched off the stove and grabbed his oven mitts in order to grab the bread. A fist rapped on the front door and with one last long around he shoved the mitts in his back pocket and crossed over to the door to open it. He pasted a smile on his face and swung the door open.

“Good evening,” Nick greeted with a smile. He nodded his head towards where the Swedish fire log was sitting in a wide expanse of dirt adjacent to Sonny’s driveway. “You know, as a park ranger I should advise you not to leave your campfires unattended.” The joke succeeded in allaying Sonny’s nervousness and he swept his arm back to usher Nick inside.

“Would it help if I told you I do this all the time in the winter?” Sonny asked with a smirk.

Nick pretended to think and Sonny relaxed more before noticing both of Nick’s hands were full. He hovered with open palms in their direction, offering to take something off of his hands wordlessly.

“Maybe,” Nick finally settled on with a grin. He offered the case of beer to Sonny. “Saw this kind in your cart when we ran into each other at the grocery store. Felt it was a safe bet.” He sniffed the air audibly and his shoulders relaxed. “Although, by the smell of things in here I should have sprung for some fancy wine? I was expecting a casserole or something simple.”

“A casserole?” Sonny’s nose wrinkled up as he took the beer from Nick and led him a couple of feet away in the direction of the kitchen. The open floor plan of his place meant you didn’t have to walk too far in any direction in order to get where you wanted to go. “Somewhere in Italy my nonna just suppressed a shiver and sneezed three times before throwing salt over her shoulder.”

Nick’s laugh was rich and smooth, like a well-aged whiskey, and Sonny glanced back to drink it in. That made him realize Nick was still in his coat and he mentally facepalmed. There went his grandmother’s pride in his hospitality.

“Let me take your coat for you,” he offered next. “Although, we are going back outside momentarily to grab the bread. I can show you how the Swedish fire log works. I may or may not have made too much food, so hopefully, you came hungry.” Sonny shrugged. “Either that or we’ll both have plenty of leftovers to stock up our freezers.”

Nick shrugged off his coat and handed it over to Sonny, dropping the paper grocery bag that was in his other hand by the refrigerator.

“I feel embarrassed that my offering for this meal is beer and the ingredients to make s’mores,” he said as Sonny hung his coat on the coat rack. Nick turned and Sonny watched him categorize everything. No doubt, nothing would escape his usual astute observations.

“S’mores are perfect,” Sonny assured him. He fought the urge to fidget as Nick continued to study his house. “The Swedish log will burn for several hours--contained--and that will mean we won’t have burnt marshmallows from direct flames _and_ that we don’t need to rush through our dinner.” He jerked his head behind him to the door. “Want to come with me to get the bread?”

“Mind if I grab a beer first? It’s been a long day.”

Sonny shook his head and Nick grabbed two bottles from the counter.

“If you tell me you made bread from scratch I’m seriously going to feel even worse.”

Sonny ducked his head sheepishly, secretly pleased at the tone of admiration in Nick’s voice, even as he groaned at the obvious admittance and made his way over to Sonny.

“I’ve definitely got to step up my game,” Nick said. He offered Sonny a bottle and then reached out to grab his keys from the pocket of his coat to offer Sonny the bottle opener. Sonny popped Nick’s bottle and then his own.

Once Nick had stowed his keys back in his coat pocket, Sonny silently ushered Nick outside. The log was still burning brightly under the Dutch oven and the smell of burning wood wafted over towards them as they got closer. It’s rich, earthy scent joined the crispness of the air. He’d been telling the truth when he told Nick he did this all the time. The packed dirt and gravel of his driveway provided a safe spot to set the log up and it was another clear night with no wind to worry about catching an errant ember. He leaned down towards the log and pulled the mitts out of his pocket before pausing and straightening. Offering the mitts to Nick instead he nodded towards the Dutch oven.

“Do you want to do the honors?”

Nick nodded with a delighted smile and reached for the mitts. “Tell me more about this Swedish fire log situation, too. I should probably already know, but this is a first for me…”

“See how the fire is deep into the log? That happens by creating a series of deep cuts, lighting some kindling, and then shoving that in the hole that you create. From there, the fire feeds on the inside of the log.” Nick grasped the Dutch oven carefully and picked it up from the top of the log. “It’s great for camping because you have a flat surface to cook on, like here, you don’t have the intense fire that ends up burning your food like with a regular campfire, and it works even in damp conditions.” Sonny watched as Nick straightened carefully with the bread and he grabbed both beers before guiding him back towards the front door. “It was one of the first, only, things I learned about camping...which kind of led to how I got the farm, so I have fond memories of them.”

Sonny opened the door for Nick and closed it tightly behind him. The house was warm and after being outside for a while and coming back inside he was hit by how good the food smelled. No wonder Nick had been excited when he arrived.

“Camping led to all of this, huh?” Nick asked once he’d safely deposited the bread on one of the free eyes of the stove.

“In a roundabout way.” Sonny busied himself with pulling serving utensils out of a drawer and hoped Nick wouldn’t press further.

“I get that,” Nick said. “You were right about me being an ex-cop, of course, but I’ve actually lived in California for years before moving here.” He leaned against the counter and looked thoughtful. “I got injured on the job and there was no real future...ended up moving to be near my kids.” Sonny was reminded that Nick had kids, a fact that had escaped the town gossips. His surprise must have shown on his face before Nick chuckled slightly and bit his lip. “Yes, I said kids. As in plural. Girl and a boy.”

“Do they live nearby?” Sonny couldn’t help but ask. He remembered Nick saying something about helping them with their schoolwork.

Nick shook his head and dropped his gaze to his boots. “Closer than if I was still in New York.” Sonny flashed to the knowing look Nick had given the Times when he’d unrolled the crossword at the diner. They had so much in common. “But they’re in southern California. I see them every month or so, video calls every week, phone calls and text more often than that.” He shrugged. “I do my best.”

“I’m sure you’re a great dad, Nick,” Sonny found himself saying sincerely. Something about Nick’s uncertainty and how buoyed he already felt by the little interaction they had assured him of that.

“I try to be,” Nick sighed. After a beat, he clasped his hands together and gestured around them. “I want to hear about everything you cooked!”

Sonny leaned around him to grasp an oven mitt and lift the top of the Dutch oven. The focaccia was a crisp, perfect brown color on the top and he smiled in satisfaction. Soup bowls were on the counter behind Nick and the table was already set with silverware. He offered Nick’s beer back to him and grasped his own to have something to do with his hands as he described what he had fixed.

“On the stove is ribollita, a vegetable soup thickened with bread that is perfect this time of year when all of the vegetables for it are in the prime of their season. We have the focaccia to accompany it. On the table is some antipasti, roasted red peppers, mozzarella, prosciutto. Just a little something to nosh on between bites of soup. The main course is osso buco alla Milanese, which is veal shank, cooked nice and low and slow. That’s in the oven and it will be served with rice, if you want. You can eat anything however you want in whatever order, but that was the general idea…”

“I’m more than happy to eat it as the chef imagined,” Nick teased. He stepped away from the counter and picked up a soup bowl to hand to Sonny. “You lead the way.”

Once they get seated, the conversation continued to flow easily. There was none of the initial awkwardness from the diner several days ago, even. Nick talked a little more about his kids, how old they were and what they liked and disliked. He mentioned missing New York from time to time and Sonny agreed with him. Every time he’d offer a bite of information, he expected Nick to press further, but he never did. He seemed to be happy with what Sonny offered up and Sonny found himself slouching down in his chair, talking for long stretches of time with his hands waving around, and laughing as they swapped crazy stories from their times living in New York.

When Nick finished the last bite of veal on his plate he pushed back from the table and made a show of loosening his pants with a content grin. They’d put a nice dent in the food, but there was plenty more leftover.

“I’m sad to say I do not think I have room for dessert today,” Nick announced. “Which is probably a good thing. I can’t imagine following up food like that with s’mores.” He laughed and shook his head slightly.

Sonny finished the last swallow of his third beer and set his bottle back on the table. His body felt languid and warm and his cheeks were beginning to hurt from grinning so much.

“S’mores are a delicacy, as far as I’m concerned. We’ll just save them for another day.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Nick agreed. His cheeks were slightly flushed and he knocked his fingers against the table. “This was the most fun I’ve had in a while.”

Sonny ducked his head and gathered their plates before standing. “Same.” He dropped the plates in the sink and heard Nick stand up behind him. “Let me see if I can find some containers for you to take some of this home with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Nick protested. He had the platter in hand and despite the fact he’d said he was full, he was popping another piece of prosciutto in his mouth. “You’re the one who made it all.”

“I have plenty,” Sonny said firmly. “I’m happy to share.”

And it was true. He was happy to share. Happy to share his house, his dining table, his food, and his time. After a self-imposed semi isolation he was reminded of what his life used to look like when he was sociable and more prone to endless chatter than silence.

“Well, I can’t say no if you insist,” Nick agreed slowly. “I really appreciate this, Sonny. It’s tough moving to a new place and even when you settle into a routine sometimes you feel like something is missing. I don’t have any desire to go back in time, but it was great to feel like I got see glimpses of the old me.” When Sonny glanced over he was shrugging sheepishly. “Maybe that sounds cheesy. But it means a lot.”

“I get it,” Sonny found himself agreeing. Maybe it was beer or maybe it was that Nick’s candor created room for his own. “I’ve felt more like myself tonight than I have since I probably moved here years ago. So yeah, I really get it.”

He lifted his eyes to hold Nick’s and made himself not look away when it got too uncomfortable. The way Nick’s henley was wrinkled around his shoulder under his flannel shirt was as endearing as the flush he still had from the food or the alcohol and the small smile on his face. He made himself see and be seen for a long stretch of time and then he resumed looking for containers to pack up leftovers for Nick to take home.


	4. chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your patience! the slow burn continues...

After dinner at Nick’s, they started texting regularly. At first, it had been Sonny complimenting Nick’s food--Nick had also sent him home with leftovers--and Nick doing the same. His freezer was actually starting to get packed with something other than frozen pot pies. Sonny’s leftovers had been squirreled away in there and he’d been taking things out a little at a time to savor them longer. So it was nice to hear that Sonny was equally as enthusiastic about the leftover Lechon Asado, black beans, and rice he’d sent Sonny home with four days ago. They still hadn’t gotten to dessert, but his half of the pie Sonny had brought with him from the diner had not lasted as long as the rest of the food. Benjamin may be kind of pushy and a little too enthusiastic about his relationship with his diner, but his pies were good.

**[from Sonny 1:23 PM]**: I just ate some of the leftover pork, beans, and rice and now I have absolutely zero motivation to get back to work

**[from Sonny 1:24 PM]**: My bed is calling me, but I can’t afford to nap. Are you trying to sabotage me, Amaro?

Nick read his texts and laughed aloud. A curious noise from Carmen had him pasting an impassive look on his face hastily, but he feared he was a little too slow. Carmen was a quick thinker even on the worst of days and although the little thing she had going on with Casey seemed to occasionally make her space out, she was always eager to turn her sharp eye on someone else.

**[from Nick 1:26 PM]**: I went to bed at 9 the first time I ate the leftover veal and soup. So it seems only fair.

**[from Sonny 1:30 PM]**: Yeah...You seem like a solid 10 pm bedtime kinda guy. I can see why you want to exact your revenge.

Nick barely caught his laughter this time and he only responded with a smiley face and then put his cell phone away again. _Was the smiley face too much?_ He bit his lip and finally shrugged. The last thing he wanted was to be caught in a ‘will they or won’t they’ like Carmen and Casey were. He was pretty sure that Sonny wasn’t interested in him, or anyone for that matter, so he wouldn’t worry about it. Besides, it was nice to see this side of Sonny where he bantered back and forth with Nick and didn’t look so uncomfortable. Over dinner at Nick’s he had seemed to thaw even more, Nick got a glimpse of what he was sure was Sonny’s real personality, but the walls always seemed to go back up. It was like Sonny was warring within himself, but Nick had enough experience with that himself to be patient.

“So…” Carmen let her voice trail off and Nick held back a groan.

He kept his gaze on the desk in front of him and reached for a highlighter in an attempt to look busy. It didn’t work.

“Texting Sonny again?”

Nick grunted something noncommittal and flipped the page of the report on his desk. It was nearly rutting season for deer and they’d need to post notices. Hunting wasn’t allowed in their woods and they didn’t often see deer in this area as much as other places, but it was good for anyone camping to be alert.

“C’mon, boss. Sandoval’s not here. It’s just you and me. I promise I won’t give you too hard of a time.”

“Nothing to give me a hard time over,” Nick spoke up. “Sonny and I are friends. It kind of seems like he needs a friend and I could probably use someone to hang out with considering how much time you’ve been spending with Casey and Mike is spending with Stacy.” He paused and finally looked up and over to the side. “The rhyming was not intentional.”

“First of all, Casey and I are just friends, too--”

Nick laughed aloud at that and arched his eyebrow at her pointedly. She didn’t squirm under his gaze, but she did sit up straighter and jut her chin out defiantly.

“We are,” she said forcefully. “Second, I think this thing between you and Sonny is nice. Sonny’s been living here forever and he’s kind of a...loner. No one really knows him. I mean, Stacy gets him to open up occasionally and he seems to like to spend time at Casey’s greenhouse, but that’s about it. Even with having all of the events at his farm over the holidays he still manages to avoid anything beyond small talk with people he’s known for years.” She took a breath and shrugged before offering him a kind smile. “I just think it’s nice.”

“He is a little bit…” Closed off. “Private,” Nick allowed. “I get the feeling he has a complicated past and God knows I understand that. We’re friends.”

“Mmhmm…”

Nick shot her a dirty look and jerked his chin to the room at large.

“So, about all of these poinsettia’s that have suddenly appeared…”

Carmen turned back to her desk and began shuffling papers around and Nick laughed and got back to his own work. They did actually have a job, one Nick liked by the way, and it did not involve talking about relationships all day long. He heard his phone buzz with another text message and he glanced over at Carmen’s back before checking it. One last text wouldn’t hurt.

**[from Sonny 1:40 PM]**: I’m thinking of seeing that new action movie that comes out Friday. You think you can stay awake long enough to join me? It’ll be past your bedtime…

Nick’s stomach dropped and he wished he hadn’t checked his phone. A cold sweat broke out across his back and his palms felt slippery. The last time he’d gone to see a movie in a theater, right after moving to southern California with Zara, he hadn’t made it through the previews. She’d been so confused and angry when he dragged her out of there, but he had known it was either that or he’d have some kind of a breakdown. During a kid’s movie.

**[from Nick 1:45 PM]**: Thank you for the invitation, Sonny. But I can’t. I’m sorry.

Hopefully, that would be enough. Maybe the next time he and Sonny talked he’d try to explain, but doing it over text didn’t seem right.

* * *

He didn’t get much of a chance to do so. Sonny’s curt reply had come through hours later and Nick knew he’d probably hurt Sonny’s feelings or offended him. It was frustrating. An action movie with Sonny on Friday sounded like a fun time, but he just couldn’t. He wished there was some kind of way to tell Sonny it wasn’t about him, but doing that over text seemed weird and they hadn’t graduated to speaking on the phone. There had been no other messages from Sonny, even when Nick tried to share some gossip about how Casey and Carmen seemed closer and closer to finally going on an official date. It seemed like he may have accidentally undone all of the trust they’d built over the last month or so.

With Sonny at the movies and his employees with their significant others, or nearly significant others, that left Nick without plans on Friday. He’d spent plenty of weekends alone, but this one felt especially bereft. He stared at the rows of cereal in front of him without seeing them. Grocery shopping on a Friday meant it was pretty empty and peaceful, but it also felt kind of...sad. Everyone else was doing something fun and he was trying to figure out what brand of puffed corn to buy to eat on his couch while he watched the home channel. Or the cooking channel.

Tired of feeling sorry for himself, and itching to get out of his uniform, he grabbed his favorite sugary cereal and tossed it in the cart. Not the healthiest choice, but he’d balance it out with a salad or something later. He deserved this. Next on his mental running list was yogurt and then a case of beer and then he could be on his home and one step closer to comfortable sweats and a date with his couch. A flash of blue flannel caught his eye and he turned automatically. The messy head of light brown hair was more than familiar and Nick picked up his steps to get to the end of the aisle and then turn in the direction he’d seen him go by.

“Sonny!”

So it turned out the grocery store wasn’t as empty as he’d originally thought. An older couple turned and looked at him quizzically, so he flashed the smile that always got him out of trouble and hurried to catch up with Sonny.

“Fancy running into you here,” Nick tried to joke as he came up to him.

He felt slightly winded for some reason. Sonny just lifted his eyebrows, but otherwise remained silent. The ‘you ran after me, we didn’t run into each other’ was etched across his face, but went unspoken. Nick shifted his weight and adjusted his handbasket so it was in front of his body rather than pressed against the side of his thigh. The metal handles cut into his skin as he readjusted his grip.

“I thought you’d be at the movies,” he tried again with a tentative smile.

Sonny stiffened. “Didn’t feel much in the mood after all.”

Nick winced and nodded. He dropped his gaze to his feet and he watched as Sonny’s boots took a sliding step back.

“So, I’m going to--” he gestured vaguely.

“Movies make me anxious,” Nick blurted out. Sonny’s feet stopped moving, but Nick kept his gaze firmly on the floor. “I--the last time I went to a movie, with my daughter, I couldn’t make it through the previews.”

Sonny made some kind of noise, and it sounded understanding enough for Nick to lift his gaze from the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized helplessly. “I wanted to go, but I just…”

“Can’t,” Sonny filled in with a look of understanding on his face.

Nick lifted a corner of his mouth in a grimace before pressing his lips together tightly.

“Exactly. At home, I’m fine. But in a dark theater…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Sonny said while Nick searched for the words. He reached out and dropped his hand to Nick’s forearm briefly. “I’m sorry I got so bent out of shape about it.” He lifted his hand away and used it to scratch at the back of his neck anxiously. “I thought you were blowing me off or something. I overreacted. You don’t have to--you don’t owe me anything. I just got…”

“No, it’s not just you. We’ve been having a good time together and I’m sorry for throwing off that rhythm and making you think--” Nick cut himself off abruptly as someone brushed by them. They were standing in the middle of the aisle near the dairy. After they shuffled to the side they shared a sheepish look.

“Look, would you like to come over?” Nick offered with a hopeful smile. “We could play cards, watch a movie? Eat some leftovers?” Sonny chuckled. “I’ll even spring for popcorn that you make on a stove, not the microwave stuff.”

Sonny seemed to think about it as he looked at his basket of groceries.

“You could stow your groceries in my fridge,” Nick added desperately. “I feel bad that--”

“Don’t feel bad,” Sonny cut him off. “Let me go home, drop these groceries off and clean up and I can meet you back at your place. Say in an hour?”

Nick was relieved and his smile came back in full force. He nodded. “That sounds great.”

“Maybe we’ll finally get around to eating some dessert,” Sonny joked.

When he laughed, Nick knew it was a little too hard. The joke wasn’t that funny, but he was so relieved Sonny wasn’t mad, and better yet, seemed to be understanding. It was strange the way his entire body felt less tense than it had fifteen minutes ago.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “See you in an hour?”

Sonny nodded. “I’ll see you then. I’ll get stuff to make nachos. Leftovers may put us to sleep.”

Nick laughed again and with another shared look Sonny was backing away, this time with half a smile, and Nick was hurrying to get his yogurt and head back to his place to clean up.

* * *

It was silly to be so fussy. Sonny had already been over to his place. Sure it was a lot smaller than Sonny’s one-story perfect cabin in the woods, but it was nice. Homey. It did the trick. The deal he’d gotten on the one-bedroom unit had been perfect when he moved in and the smell of laundry detergent didn’t bother him as it wafted up from the laundromat on the ground floor. The owners of the laundromat lived directly below him, so he had the top unit which meant no one doing parkour on his ceiling at all hours of the night. So, it was a little small, but he made it work.

Except right now, he was fussing over the furniture. His couch was more of a loveseat, but his television was a decent size. The coffee table had been moved back, forth, across the room, and back to its original place over the last thirty minutes. In a rush, he’d even replaced the lightbulbs of the lamp on the table next to the couch, fearing that the yellow lighting was too dim. Which was silly. He’d already had Sonny over and they’d had a nice, casual evening. Something about this evening hinging around then hanging out on the couch rather than the dining room table felt more intimate and it was giving Nick a serious case of the jitters. He was interrupted from fussing any longer with a knock on his door.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Nick greeted as he ushered Sonny inside. “Find parking okay?” Parking? Really?

Sonny gave him a quizzical look and nodded slowly. The bag in his hand rustled when he lifted it slowly.

“I was serious about the nachos. And I hope you were serious about the popcorn…” he trailed off and turned in the direction of the kitchen.

“I was!” Nick replied eagerly. He led Sonny into the kitchen and gestured for him to put the bag on the counter. “Help yourself to whatever. Do you want to get the nachos going while I pop some popcorn? Wasn’t sure if you were an oven or microwave guy, but the oven is preheated just in case.”

Sonny scoffed. “Oven, of course. Unless I’m super lazy, which I am not right now. We’ve got to do it right.”

“I had a feeling you had strong opinions about the right way to make nachos,” Nick laughed. “Have at it. I also picked up some ice cream sandwiches. It seemed to fit with the whole movie theme.”

“Smart,” Sonny complimented. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a cookie sheet before opening drawers. When he found the aluminum foil he crowed triumphantly before spreading it across the tin. “We’re probably saving a ton of money by not going to the movies tonight,” he said casually. “They price gouge the hell out of you just for a small box of candy. Plus, no beer.”

“Speaking of, can I offer you one now?” Nick stepped away from the pot on the stove towards the refrigerator.

“Please.”

Sonny finished washing and drying his hands at the sink and then spread chips out over the foil before then setting about to add a generous amount of shredded cheese. Nick grabbed two bottles out of the fridge and opened one before setting it by Sonny on the counter and then doing the same to his own. Another two layers of toppings had been added to the chips in the time it took him to take a swig and check on the oil that was heating in the pot on the stove.

“After this gets all melty, I have more cheese and sour cream we can add,” Sonny said absently. He squinted at the pan, dropped a few more jalapenos on one section and then nodded to himself.

The oil was finally hot enough, so Nick removed the lid on the pot and began gently adding kernels to the pot.

“Sounds great. Popcorn won’t take long at all. Television is on if you want to select a movie. My cable isn’t that extensive, but I do have all of the streaming apps.”

“Do you have a preference?” Sonny’s tone was mild, but Nick could sense the deeper meaning in his words.

“Anything is fine for me,” he replied lightly. Nothing triggered him at home. He didn’t care much for gore, but it seemed that only dark rooms like movie theaters with really loud sounds from state of the art systems bothered him. Sonny didn’t seem like a guy who liked gory movies, so he had nothing to worry about.

“Alright. I’m thinking we need a ‘90s classic,” Sonny said before exiting the kitchen.

When the nachos were finally done and loaded on plates, popcorn was in the largest mixing bowl he could find, and they each had another beer, they settled on the couch. Sonny had ended up with an old sci-fi action movie and Nick was already grinning. He had a feeling Sonny was the kind of person to riff on the dialogue and this one was going to be entertainingly bad.

“The other great thing about watching at home? You can talk out loud. The dialogue in this thing is terrible,” Sonny said as if reading Nick’s mind. He crammed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and slouched down further. “I can’t wait.”

Nick pressed play on the remote before tossing it aside and getting into a more comfortable position himself.

True to his word, Sonny ended up talking throughout the entire movie and the next one they watched. They’d taken a break after the second one and ended up playing a game of cards and eating ice cream sandwiches. When Nick took notice of the time on the oven clock as he got Sonny and him a glass of water, he realized it was nearly midnight. The evening had flown by just as all of the others had.

Nick handed Sonny the glass of water and Sonny took it gratefully. He gulped half of it down before setting it on the coffee table and standing.

“Let me help you clean up. I just realized how late it is and I’m sure you’ll be up almost as early as me tomorrow even though its a Saturday.”

“What gave it away,” Nick joked as he began gathering their plates.

“Just a hunch,” Sonny replied drily as he snagged their empty beer bottles with one hand and grabbed the empty mixing bowl with his other. “You seem like someone who likes routine.”

That much was true and Nick could only smile sheepishly. It had been years since he’d really slept in. Even on holidays when he had a longer amount of time off he only slept until about eight in the morning. Any later than that was only times when he was sick and had no choice but to sleep it off. With everything at least in the kitchen, Nick decided to wash up tomorrow. He didn’t have to be so predictable all the time.

“Leave it,” Nick waved Sonny away as he began soaping the plates. “I’ll get it in the morning. They aren’t going anywhere.”

Sonny arched his eyebrow, but turned off the water and dried his hands. He leaned against the counter and his eyes darted around nervously. Nick frowned. It had been a long time since he’d seen Sonny so unsettled. He was just about to ask Sonny what was wrong when he pulled something from his pocket and pressed it to the counter forcefully.

“I got you a key,” he blurted.

Of all of the things Nick thought he might say, that was not one of them.

“For my cabin,” Sonny went on. “In case I’m not there and you need a place to warm up?” Okay, now he was making sense. “It’s just...I get the sense that the cold bothers you so…” He trailed off and judging by how pale he was suddenly looking, he was regretting saying anything. When his fingers twitched towards the key again Nick snatched it up and pocketed it before he could feel any more awkward about the offer.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Sonny. I promise to not abuse it and sneak off with any leftovers.”

Sonny relaxed at the joke and rolled his eyes. “Help yourself. I can’t believe I still have soup in the freezer. You’d think I wasn’t eating it every single day for lunch. But yeah, you don’t have to use the key or anything, but in case you ever need to…”

“I probably will,” Nick assured him. Why was he assuring Sonny that he’d be using a key to get into his cabin? “I am not a fan of the cold. Perceptive of you to pick up. You sure you aren’t a former cop, too?”

Sonny laughed and shook his head, relaxing further. “Not hardly. I dreamed about it once, but went a different direction.”

It was clear that he wasn’t going to share any more on the topic and Nick didn’t want to push. They wiped down the counters a bit more and finally, Nick ushered Sonny towards the door.

“Thanks for coming over. This was more fun than the evening I had planned for myself.”

“Me too,” Sonny agreed. “Next time we’ll have to do something active.”

“Let me try to find a few more layers of cold-weather clothes and then you have a deal,” Nick joked. He leaned against the door as Sonny exited and paused in the doorway. “Drive safely, Sonny.”

“Always. See you soon, Nick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come visit me on tumblr--@carisi-dreams!

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you for joining this ride. I am currently planning to update twice a week. please subscribe for the latest. come say 'hello' over on my tumblr--@carisi-dreams.


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